Final Year Moments

Final Year.

Final Year.

Final Year.

I never felt this horrible, anxious, ahh I don't know how to describe my feeling.

After all 5 years in med school, the final year exam result announcement day  was the final of the final.

I cannot sleep, cannot sit still and cannot do anything. I keep thinking about my result. I have so many plan if I pass, but what if I fail??

When I arrived at college that noon. I saw Jabb and Yusra. So proud of them because they are so excellent that they sit for Viva Distinction. I hugged Jabb and congratulate her and suddenly both of us cried.. AHAHAHAHA. why? I don't know. A lot of things running in my mind that time. 

.

.

And when they announced the result and Alhamdulillah, I pass !

and again, all the five years in RCMP, all the moments passing through my eyes. 

Alhamdulillah.

Alhamdulillah

Alhamdulliah.

Med school is not easy. not easy. Full of tears and everyday, I wake up with hope that i can remember everything that I learn yesterday and today and day before and before and before. 

I don't want to disappoint my parents that have their high hopes on me. They have been spending life and money on me so how can I disappoint them. I KENOT !

and 

Alhamdulillah. 

Year 4 - Case Closed

Currently I'm in the middle of my one month holiday after passing my final year 4. Another tough year had passed.

Medic school is not easy maaaan!
Plus, I'm not that genius. Hahaha.

Alhamdulillah for this achievement.  I'm happy for myself but I'm not in the mood to celebrate this. It means nothing to me when some of my friends didn't make it for the final. Friends that worked together with me for the past years.

Stay strong dear friends. I know you can do it!
Have faith. Try your best and let Allah decide the rest.

I was once failed in my first year and for the first time i feel like so useless that I'm in the verge of giving up in medic school  and people that you expect to support was actually not the real friend. And you'll never expect you gonna meet new people that willing to lend their hand out of nowhere.

Failing is not a bad thing dear friends. Besides to make you study harder, it gives you sweetness of life. How to overcome the intimidating feeling about yourself.
I've been struggling with this trauma of talking in front of people for one year before I can lift my head up.

This struggles make you strong in the future and by the time you facing this kind if problem again, you're going to thank your first time experience. 

Have faith!

2015 Resolution

Its already 2015.
Another year had passed.
Another one month to go before 4th year final exam.
And I am nowhere near ready.
Cry. Cry. Cry.

So, what is my resolution this year ? That anually typical question.

I don't really have any big goals for this year.
Passing my fourth year and enter final year would be the first and the last wish for this year.
Ace all the observed long case in final year without repeating any posting, that would be enough.
Oh, and I want to save a lot of moneyy this year because I plan for something big in 2016.

And I want to practice my driving skill. I've got the license when I was 18 and never drive since then. Now, I am 23, and need to drive around.

What else? Hurmm.
I guess thats all.

Just that for my new year resolutions.
1. Ace all the exams
2. Save money
3. Practice driving.

What's yours?

Real Life Strikes !

In the name of Allah the most gracious the most merciful.

Ohhai. Sudah lama tak menulis ni.
Too much of memendam rasa is not good for me.
I've been lost for all this while. i stop doing things that I love to do. I stop watching movies that I like. I didn't enjoy my life as much as I did before.

Alhamdulillah. I've passed my 3rd year in medical school and have almost 2 months holiday. I started to find every piece of me and yes, I've found them.
Medical life really takes my youth. I've been struggling with my inner conflict for almost 2 year but I still don't get over them. But at least, i've get rid almost of them.

i've been thinking hard about me during these 2 month. And now, I come back as 4th year medical student with new me InshaALLAH.

Done my first posting of 4th year by finishing Cardio Rehab Posting in Hosp Queen Elizabeth II in Kota Kinabalu Sabah. Im gonna spam with the picture later. Sabah is a very good place with nice people and environment.

currently, in dermatology posting. I had 3 days on and off of high fever on the day I came back to Ipoh. It wasn't really a good start. I threw up twice, my tonsils were swollen like hell and I couldn't swallow anything at all.

so, this is the beginning of real 4th year medical student of mine. :)

I sould write more often since I found back my real self. ;)

Mencari Semangat

Assalamualaykum wbt semua :)

lama rasanya tak bercerita merapu kat sini . quite busy and i dont really give my self time to have fun . HAHA*apa yg busy nya pun tak tau -.-'*
new interphase isnt't it ? hehe . just want to try out something new . s i m p l e . and nice looking. to be true, I don't think i can't manage my blog very well if I still using the old template because I need to edit all those dizzy looking HTML coding and i don't think I will have enough time to playing with photoshop anymoreeee :( . So, to make things easier, I revert to new template and this is it ! new look :) hehe but still looking for sometime to make the banner ;D

OKAY , next :

amboii . ada next next pulak kan. currently, I'm in my fifth week of GastroIntestinalTract (GIT) module and yes, it is tougher than i thought. woowoowow T^T .

AND ,

I have new addiction. Addiction towards kids XD . takde la kids sangat. cuma tak tau kenapa, setiap kali lihat muka muka suci kanak kanak ni, satu semangat yang muncul. Basically, diri ini berada dalam state yang agak kurang stabil. saya kadang kadang mood swing. Allah. Rasaa semua tak kena. Dan rasa nya dah jumpa penawar bila jadi macam ni . ecehh ^^ . carilah kanak kanak dan bermesra lah dengan diorang . Jujur, sangat tenang . :')

banyak yang saya belajar dari kanak-kanak ni. Tak sangka macam ni teruknya effect rindu. hehe. Melihat diorang ketawa membuat saya berfikir seketika. dalam juga fikirnya . banyak dan sebenarnya sempat bermuhasabah diri. Asal rasa hilang semangat je, mesti tengok gambar gambar diorang. Allah :')

AND,

HAHA, ada lagi . and bila rasa takde semnagat, mesti nak melawat Kalam Puncak . :') dah 3 tahun kan arwah ammar zulkifli pergi. kalau arwah ada sekarang, mesti tengah bersedia nak final exam untuk jadi doctor. Salah satu semangat yang saya InshaAllah bawa sampai hari ini: semangat mujahid yang ada pada arwah ammar. zuhud orang nya. Bila pemergiannya dikhabarkan 3 tahun lalu, saya berada di kampung dan sangat terkesan. masa menziarahi makcik Siti iaitu ummi kepada arwah ammar, teramatlah terkesan melihat air mata seorang ummi. Mana tak nya, keluarga kami dan keluarga makcik siti memang dah kenal lama. membesar sekali dulu dulu. Ammar tu ganas orangnya. sampai jatuh pecah TV kat rumah. Pemergian arwah sangat terkesan oleh ramai sahabat sahabat beliau. Mula dari MATRI, Darul Quran hingga lah ke Cairo. Semua datang semasa hari pengkebumian arwah. Buat pertama kalinya, aku rasa Kepala Batas sesak dengan orang ramai selain Pak Lah balik KB. MashaAllah. ramai mencecah ribuan. Hebatnya arwah. Arwah meninggal di Kaherah/Cairo 11 Jun , 3 tahun lepas selepas mengalami kemalangan di sana dan ketika itu, arwah sedang berada di tahun ketiga dalam bidang perubatan. Kesan pemergian arwah, masih saya rasa sampai hari ini , saat ini .
Kata seorang hamba Allah yang saya jumpa ni :

" Allah akan ambil awal hamba hambaNya yang beriman. Ini salah satu tanda kiamat" .

 Moga arwah salah seorang mujahid yang Allah SWT kasihi.
Makcik Siti pernah cerita kat kitorang, salah satu impian arwah adalah nak kahwin awal. MashaAllah. Allah bagi kat dia bidadari syurga dengan mengambil hamba kesayanganNya di awal usia. Pemergian arwah di awal usia nya sangat membuka mata saya sendiri. Dan kata kata yang selalu arwah ungkapkan :

“Jiwa mereka yang hangat cintanya mencari akhirat. Laksana anak-anak akhirat...melihat dunia dari jendela akhirat.”

Al-Fatihah .

Moga kita juga mempunyai jiwa yang hangat cintanya mencari akhirat . InshaAllah

Wassalam